Is He An A****** Mommy?
July 8th 2008 16:14
I’ve always prided myself on being a bit of a modern day Polymath- that I’m able to talk on a variety of subjects and have an open mind about most things. I enjoy talking about a wide variety of serious issues as much as I enjoy watching dirty comedy.
In that vein, I’ve never been too concerned about “bad” words. In my view, language is just a way to communicate and however we can most effectively do that is how it should be done. “Gosh darnit” just doesn’t mean the same thing as “God Damnit.” If you don’t believe me, try watching the Sopranos on regular TV.
I’ve always intended to start curbing my own personal use of “dirty” language around the house for my kids sake. Not so much because it bothers me, but because like most 3 year olds, my little sponge will repeat everything anywhere. The public perception of a kid who says naughty words is not a good one. I kept putting off this switch thinking its not really a big deal.
A little while ago, we were watching our favorite hockey team in a game that went into a shootout at the end. When the first player from the other team came up to shoot, my son turned around and asked “Is he an asshole mommy?”
Flustered, I tried to think of how a good parent should respond to this. “Well, he’s a bad guy.”
“So he’s an asshole?”
“That’s not a nice word buddy, how about we just say he is a bad guy ok?”
He looked puzzled. “But Rupert (our dog) is an asshole.”
Apparently me getting mad at the dog for messing in the house had shaped his view of what this word meant. It was someone who made me mad.
“I know bud, but mommy shouldn’t say that word. Nobody should. Its not a nice word.”
He looked around for a few minutes. “That’s OK mommy, you can say it, I won’t”
Later in the week, we decided to take the kids bowling. Next to us was a group of teenagers who were cursing like mad- the f-word flying everywhere and very loudly. I found myself getting very angry. After listening for a while and hoping they would stop, I turned and asked them nicely to watch their language.
Here I am- this great open-minded woman who has to teach herself not to say those words for the sake of her child, reprimanding someone else for doing it. What a hypocrite.
A few years ago, this huge movement started where people wanted to find their “authentic self.” I’ve realized over time that there is no authentic self. As the great Kurt Vonnegut said, “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
For the sake of our kids, I suppose in true Renaissance fashion I have to wear different hats on different days. That person who laughs hysterically at Kevin Smith movies is still who I am, but I also have to learn to be this other more wholesome person too. Its going to take some god damn work!
In that vein, I’ve never been too concerned about “bad” words. In my view, language is just a way to communicate and however we can most effectively do that is how it should be done. “Gosh darnit” just doesn’t mean the same thing as “God Damnit.” If you don’t believe me, try watching the Sopranos on regular TV.
I’ve always intended to start curbing my own personal use of “dirty” language around the house for my kids sake. Not so much because it bothers me, but because like most 3 year olds, my little sponge will repeat everything anywhere. The public perception of a kid who says naughty words is not a good one. I kept putting off this switch thinking its not really a big deal.
A little while ago, we were watching our favorite hockey team in a game that went into a shootout at the end. When the first player from the other team came up to shoot, my son turned around and asked “Is he an asshole mommy?”
Flustered, I tried to think of how a good parent should respond to this. “Well, he’s a bad guy.”
“So he’s an asshole?”
“That’s not a nice word buddy, how about we just say he is a bad guy ok?”
He looked puzzled. “But Rupert (our dog) is an asshole.”
Apparently me getting mad at the dog for messing in the house had shaped his view of what this word meant. It was someone who made me mad.
“I know bud, but mommy shouldn’t say that word. Nobody should. Its not a nice word.”
He looked around for a few minutes. “That’s OK mommy, you can say it, I won’t”
Later in the week, we decided to take the kids bowling. Next to us was a group of teenagers who were cursing like mad- the f-word flying everywhere and very loudly. I found myself getting very angry. After listening for a while and hoping they would stop, I turned and asked them nicely to watch their language.
Here I am- this great open-minded woman who has to teach herself not to say those words for the sake of her child, reprimanding someone else for doing it. What a hypocrite.
A few years ago, this huge movement started where people wanted to find their “authentic self.” I’ve realized over time that there is no authentic self. As the great Kurt Vonnegut said, “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
For the sake of our kids, I suppose in true Renaissance fashion I have to wear different hats on different days. That person who laughs hysterically at Kevin Smith movies is still who I am, but I also have to learn to be this other more wholesome person too. Its going to take some god damn work!
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