Obnoxious Parents and Their Not-So-Obnoxious Kids
June 30th 2008 21:02
I was in a restaurant in the Farmer’s Market the other day trying to enjoy my meal. This is what I heard in a very loud, grating voice:
“Joey! Knock it off!”
”Joey sit down!”
“Joey!”
”I said eat!”
“ Joey!”
“ Joey!”
“ Did you hear me?”
“ I said sit and eat your nuggets!”
“God dammit! I can’t take this shit anymore!”
“Joey!”
“Sit down!”
“For god’s sake!”
“I can’t take this fucking shit anymore!”
“Sit down!”
“Joey!”
“Knock it Off!”
“Joey!”
I was sitting at the booth directly behind them. My back was to them. I was curious what was going on. What could this kid possibly be doing that could make a parent SO angry. My kids were staring at the mom, so I used that as an excuse to turn for a moment. I shuffled them around and told them to mind their own business and caught a glimpse of the tragic event that was causing such a ruckus that the whole restaurant was now focused on it.
Joey was standing between the table and the wall. He looked like he was about 6 years old and was quite a bit overweight. He was just standing there. He wasn’t shouting back, wasn’t running around, wasn’t throwing food…really he wasn’t doing much of anything except not eating.
I couldn’t help but look and think, that poor kid. First of all, the boy was obviously overweight and forcing him to sit and eat chicken nuggets and french fries when he was not hungry just seems counterproductive. Second, he wasn’t doing anything that was bothering anyone else in the restaurant or causing anyone any discomfort.
The true culprit here was the mom. I wanted to turn around and tell her to shut her face before I shut it for her, but I pussied out. She was a large woman and looked like she could probably bench press my very pregnant self. Last thing I needed was to get put in the hospital by some crazy bitch at the Farmer’s Market.
After they left, the entire restaurant started talking about them. People all around us breathed sighs of relief and started sharing stories about how bad they felt for the kid. The waitress whispered “thank god they left!” to us as she cleaned up their table.
I left hoping that it was just a bad day for the mom.
A week later, my husband came home telling me about this crazy lady at 7-11 who was yelling at her kid like crazy and the kids wasn't doing anything. "She kept shouting 'Joey this' and 'Joey that'" he said. Poor kid.
It really made me think about how much patience it really takes to be a parent. You have to expect that kids aren’t going to always line up in rows and sit nicely. Sometimes they will bounce or jump or stand or not be hungry when it is convenient for you. You have to roll with the punches and do your best to teach them discipline. You have to pick your battles and do it with understanding. There have to be consequences. If you don’t eat your dinner, you can’t have dessert. If you don’t sit still, we won’t go to the park. Expecting kids to do things without some motivation is just unrealistic. By giving them consequences, you are teaching them that they have control over their own futures. You are teaching them to earn what they want. Its all about responsibility for self, much like the political beliefs that I hold. I don’t do things without thinking about them, and I don’t expect my kids to either.
If they want to question me, that’s fine. I always explain why I make them do something.
You want to run on the road? No. Why? Because cars will squish you and you will get dead.
Its time to go inside. Why? Because mommy is tired because the baby kept her up last night. You don’t want to go in? Fine, then you don’t have to play computer tonight.
Its been my experience that kids respond to respect. With consequences lined up and respecting them enough to give them a straight answer instead of “because I said so,” they can learn so much more
“Joey! Knock it off!”
”Joey sit down!”
“Joey!”
”I said eat!”
“ Joey!”
“ Joey!”
“ Did you hear me?”
“ I said sit and eat your nuggets!”
“God dammit! I can’t take this shit anymore!”
“Joey!”
“Sit down!”
“For god’s sake!”
“I can’t take this fucking shit anymore!”
“Sit down!”
“Joey!”
“Knock it Off!”
“Joey!”
Joey was standing between the table and the wall. He looked like he was about 6 years old and was quite a bit overweight. He was just standing there. He wasn’t shouting back, wasn’t running around, wasn’t throwing food…really he wasn’t doing much of anything except not eating.
I couldn’t help but look and think, that poor kid. First of all, the boy was obviously overweight and forcing him to sit and eat chicken nuggets and french fries when he was not hungry just seems counterproductive. Second, he wasn’t doing anything that was bothering anyone else in the restaurant or causing anyone any discomfort.
The true culprit here was the mom. I wanted to turn around and tell her to shut her face before I shut it for her, but I pussied out. She was a large woman and looked like she could probably bench press my very pregnant self. Last thing I needed was to get put in the hospital by some crazy bitch at the Farmer’s Market.
After they left, the entire restaurant started talking about them. People all around us breathed sighs of relief and started sharing stories about how bad they felt for the kid. The waitress whispered “thank god they left!” to us as she cleaned up their table.
I left hoping that it was just a bad day for the mom.
A week later, my husband came home telling me about this crazy lady at 7-11 who was yelling at her kid like crazy and the kids wasn't doing anything. "She kept shouting 'Joey this' and 'Joey that'" he said. Poor kid.
It really made me think about how much patience it really takes to be a parent. You have to expect that kids aren’t going to always line up in rows and sit nicely. Sometimes they will bounce or jump or stand or not be hungry when it is convenient for you. You have to roll with the punches and do your best to teach them discipline. You have to pick your battles and do it with understanding. There have to be consequences. If you don’t eat your dinner, you can’t have dessert. If you don’t sit still, we won’t go to the park. Expecting kids to do things without some motivation is just unrealistic. By giving them consequences, you are teaching them that they have control over their own futures. You are teaching them to earn what they want. Its all about responsibility for self, much like the political beliefs that I hold. I don’t do things without thinking about them, and I don’t expect my kids to either.
If they want to question me, that’s fine. I always explain why I make them do something.
You want to run on the road? No. Why? Because cars will squish you and you will get dead.
Its time to go inside. Why? Because mommy is tired because the baby kept her up last night. You don’t want to go in? Fine, then you don’t have to play computer tonight.
Its been my experience that kids respond to respect. With consequences lined up and respecting them enough to give them a straight answer instead of “because I said so,” they can learn so much more
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